Friday, October 7, 2011

Advice for Sliding Through Life

One of the best little books I've ever read is called, "Never Confuse a Memo with Reality," (subtitle: And Other Business lessons Too Simple Not to Know"), by Richard A. Moran, published in 1993 by Harpers Collins. It's a tidy collection of words of wisdom for surviving and perhaps even thriving as an employee in the corporate world. By the time I discovered the book about 12 years ago I had already confirmed the wisdom of nearly every bit of advice it offers. Some is obvious, like, "You'll never regret having spent too much time with your kids," or "Never wear a tie with a stain on it." Other bits express things we may know inherently, but rarely say out loud, like, "The size of your office is not as important as the size of your paycheck," and the advice in the title: "Never confuse a memo with reality...most memos from the top are political fantasy."
I consult this little book regularly to get re-grounded and stay sane (relatively) when corporate baloney and artificial urgency are swirling around me. But on a day to day basis, in and out of work, I reflect often on advice I've gotten from the friends and mentors who have helped to shape my attitudes and approach to work and life. I thought it might be helpful to share some of that from time to time.
Barry, for whom I worked for 20 years and who is one of my closest friends, shared this: "You wouldn't worry what people think about you if you realized how seldom they do."
Barry also gave me another bit of advice that I try desperately to follow. Talking about the relationship with one's employer, he said, "Take their money. Eat their food. Drink their booze and shut up." It's that last bit I sometimes have trouble with.
My late friend Ralph said and did so many things that I don't think he intended as advice or examples, but that I think about frequently when I'm assessing my reaction to things.
Once, I was sitting at a nearly empty bar with Ralph and some of his friends when an angry drunk came up to me and said, "Hey! You're sitting in my seat." And he meant it, too. It seemed especially absurd when I looked down the bar at all the empty seats. I turned to Ralph for support (and maybe protection) and he said, "Tony, I believe you're sitting in this gentleman's seat." In other words, "It's not worth it. Pick your arguments." Also, "You can't win an argument with a drunk."
Ralph also observed something that hasn't really changed the way I behave or react but just shed light on why I and other men do what we do sometimes. He said simply, "Men do what women want." There will be those who take issue with that observation, but in general I think humans are hardwired in a way that makes Ralph's observation true most of the time. It's another way of saying, "When momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."
I'll try to remember to share other bits of advice I've gotten (good and bad) from time to time. I'll close with one more from the book -- one that I've shared with a lot of people who are just starting to work in the corporate world and often have to make tough choices.
"Life is Choices: always choose to do what you will remember ten years from now."

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Decisions, decisions....

I'm sitting here waiting for the cable guy to come and trying to decide how to use this time. At some point this morning, I have to run out and buy a new headlight bulb for the car, but I'm stuck here until the cable guy comes, so in the meantime here are my choices: I can go out and finish cleaning out the hot tub in preparation for filling it; I can cut up chicken for chicken piccata; I can vacuum the carpets (always a favorite of mine but it freaks out the dog) or I can start cutting the grass (although the cable guy is supposed to call an hour before he shows up and the mower might prevent me from hearing the phone ring.) One other alternative is to sit here and indulge in this flight of boring ideas. I think that's what I'll do. Now, that's what I call being decisive!

Friday, September 16, 2011

Last Day of a Two Week Vacation

After a week at the beach and a week at home taking care of various chores, it's almost time to go back to work. It was a wonderful time away from work. The week at the beach with family and friends was magnificent and the week at home was fun and productive. We lost cable TV on Tuesday evening (the cable guy comes tomorrow morning) but I didn't let that get in the way of a good time. So, to put a capper on my Friday evening, I conducted a mustard tasting competition among French's, Guilden's and Grey Poupon. I spread a bit of each on slices of Boar's Head Baloney, American Cheese and bits of Parmesian cheese. Then I ate them. My conclusion: We have way too much mustard in this house. But if I had to choose just one, I'd have to give the edge to the Grey Poupon.

Maybe it really is time to go back to work.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Cars I've owned since 1972*


1. 1966 Volkswagen Beetle, green

2. 1973 Volkswagen Beetle, light blue

3. 1975 Datsun B210 (Roni’s car when we were married)

4. 1971 Dodge Van, red

5. 1981 Plymouth Reliant Wagon, dark blue

6. 1981 Subaru Wagon, blue

7. 1975 Subaru Sedan, white (Julie’s car)

8. 1986 Plymouth Voyager Minivan, silver

9. 1975 Volkswagen Beetle, tan (first car bought in VA)

10. 1989 Eagle Summit, blue

11. 1992 Plymouth Grand Voyager, green

12. 1991 Mazda Miata, blue

13. 1995 Volkswagen Jetta, green

14. 1979 MG Midget, red

15. 1989 Subaru XT, silver

16. 1998 Saturn SL, white

17. 2000 Mazda MPV, green

18. 2001 Saturn SL1, green

19. 1993 Infiniti J30, green

20. 1993 Saturn SL2, silver (Ralph’s car)

21. 2000 Volkswagen Cabrio, green

22. 2003 Chrysler PT Cruiser, blue

23. 1999 Isuzu Hombre pickup truck, green (Alex’s truck)

24. 2003 Kawasaki Vulcan 500 Ltd., (motorcycle)

25. 2007 Mazda5

26. 2006 Ford Ranger (Alex’s truck)

27. 2006 Hyundai Accent (David’s car)

28. 2010 Hyundai Sonata

29. 1989 Jeep Comanche pickup truck

30. 2012 Fiat 500 **

31. 2013 Honda Fit

32.  2007 Dodge Grand Caravan**

33. 2016 VW Golf**


* In roughly the order in which they were purchased
** Currently Owned